If there was one thing I wish someone would have told me a decade ago it’d be this, learn to appreciate everything.
Learn to be grateful for the less obvious things. Don’t get hung up on things that happen on a day to day basis that won’t matter a year from that moment. If you actually take notice most of the things people get so crazy and upset about, don’t. They just won’t. Take responsibility for your part in your emotional well being. Nobody can fix or save you, only you can fix and save yourself. But don’t discount the people that hold your hand through all those moments of finding yourself and your own personal happiness. Don’t diminish their offers to help you even if they may seem unclear. Give them the benefit of the doubt. They’re more than likely very sincere. Not all people know how you need them to handle you during your time of need. They do however know how to say something kind or do something for you that you might overlook. Don’t take the people in your life for granted because it’s cliche and all but you truly don’t know what you got till it’s gone. If I could tell myself something ten years ago I’d say, for every one thing that creates an angry, sad,scared, confused, hurt emotion find one thing that is good, positive, uplifting in your bigger situation. If you can find a silver lining, find it. Even If you don’t share it cause it’s morbid or you don’t think anyone else will get it, you will. And that’s all that really matters. I would guarantee that if you took more stock in the positive rather than the negative even if the negative seems overwhelming, you will be happier. You will become more positive without even noticing.
Don’t bring work home and don’t bring your home to work. It’s an old saying but oh so true. You can be mad at your employer or your co-worker or even the environment in which you work. Just because your work environment may not be perfect and sterile doesn’t mean your house will be when you get there. But notice how your cabinets are stocked or how there is someone waiting inside the door for you. Just because your co-worker had something slick to say to your boss behind your back doesn’t mean your partner is doing the same thing. Quit being paranoid and over zealous it’s just unnecessary aggravation to your atmosphere and to the people you interact with that are supposed to mean so much more to you than any stupid on the job person.
Last, be gentle — in controlling my emotions. Someone can piss me off or hurt me all day long but how I choose to react or use that energy is my decision. I’m not saying that I can go around hurting people and saying well it’s not my problem because they can’t handle it. No, I am saying be gentle with people and even if you do cross someone or hurt someone make sure you know where you were coming from. Make sure to apologize for the moments. You are human and do sling mud or let hate come out. Be at peace though after you do make that mends. For example, my friend could tell me that they are making a choice I am firmly against. I can be open honest and share my reasons without apology. I can also choose not to judge my friend even though our views different but if my friend responds in anger or judgement for my beliefs, then I have to remember that is the way they are dealing with what I said and let it go.
I could argue their statement and views and judgement or I could simply see that this is the way they are choosing to look at the situation, (their situation) and that to argue their perception would be futile.
So I simply say, “I’m sorry you feel that way about the situation.”
Taking this attitude does not make you cold or emotionless. This saves your peace. It saves potential unnecessary arguing and potential hurt feelings or even ruined relationships.
If my friend is truly my friend they will take their opinion which is different than mine and see they are different and we can move forward.
But someone who hasn’t learned to take responsibility for their emotions may say that by not getting emotionally involved in their situation or your lack of support for their side is heartless. I assure you it is not!
Be confident. Be true to yourself. Be gentle with others. Don’t ruin your happiness by rolling in mud.
Will it matter in a year? Probably not.